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Commonplace Lavatory Laughs

Restroom comedy has long been the comfort zone in everyday journalism, and publications remain attentive regarding memorable lavatory incidents and historic moments, notably connected to soccer. It was quite amusing to find out that a prominent writer a well-known presenter possesses a urinal decorated with West Brom motifs at his home. Spare a thought for the Barnsley fan who interpreted the restroom somewhat too seriously, and had to be saved from a deserted Oakwell following dozing off in the toilet at half-time during a 2015 defeat versus the Cod Army. “He was barefoot and had lost his mobile phone and his headwear,” explained a representative from Barnsley fire services. And who can forget at the pinnacle of his career at Manchester City, Mario Balotelli visited a nearby college to access the restrooms during 2012. “He left his Bentley parked outside, then entered and inquired the location of the toilets, afterward he visited the teachers' lounge,” a student told local Manchester media. “Subsequently he wandered round the campus like he owned the place.”

The Lavatory Departure

Tuesday marks 25 years to the day that Kevin Keegan resigned from the England national team post a quick discussion in a toilet cubicle together with Football Association official David Davies in the bowels of Wembley, after the notorious 1-0 loss versus Germany during 2000 – the Three Lions' last game at the historic stadium. As Davies remembers in his diary, FA Confidential, he entered the drenched beleaguered England dressing room directly following the fixture, only to find David Beckham in tears and Tony Adams “fired up”, the two stars urging for the suit to bring Keegan to his senses. After Dietmar Hamann's set-piece, Keegan moved wearily along the passageway with a thousand-yard stare, and Davies discovered him collapsed – similar to his Anfield posture in 1996 – in the dressing room corner, whispering: “I’m off. I’m not for this.” Stopping Keegan, Davies attempted urgently to salvage the situation.

“Where on earth could we find for confidential discussion?” recalled Davies. “The tunnel? Crawling with television reporters. The dressing room? Heaving with emotional players. The shower area? I was unable to have a crucial talk with the national coach while athletes jumped in the pool. Merely one possibility emerged. The lavatory booths. A crucial incident in the Three Lions' storied past took place in the vintage restrooms of a venue scheduled for destruction. The approaching dismantling was nearly palpable. Leading Kevin into a compartment, I shut the door behind us. We stood there, facing each other. ‘You cannot persuade me,’ Kevin stated. ‘I'm gone. I'm not suitable. I’m going out to the press to tell them I’m not up to it. I can’t motivate the players. I can’t get the extra bit out of these players that I need.’”

The Results

Therefore, Keegan stepped down, eventually revealing he viewed his period as Three Lions boss “soulless”. The double Ballon d'Or recipient continued: “I found it hard to fill in the time. I began working with the visually impaired team, the deaf squad, assisting the women's team. It's an extremely challenging position.” English football has come a long way during the last 25 years. For better or worse, those stadium lavatories and those iconic towers are no longer present, while a German now sits in the dugout where Keegan once perched. Thomas Tuchel’s side are among the favourites for the upcoming Geopolitics World Cup: England fans, don’t take this era for granted. This exact remembrance from a low point in English football acts as a memory that circumstances weren't consistently this positive.

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Quote of the Day

“There we stood in a long row, clad merely in our briefs. We were the continent's finest referees, top sportspeople, examples, grown-ups, parents, determined individuals with high morals … yet nobody spoke. We barely looked at each other, our looks wavered slightly nervously as we were summoned forward in pairs. There Collina observed us from top to bottom with a freezing stare. Mute and attentive” – ex-international official Jonas Eriksson discloses the embarrassing processes referees were previously subjected to by ex-Uefa refereeing chief Pierluigi Collina.

Football Daily Letters

“What’s in a name? There’s a poem by Dr Seuss titled ‘Too Many Daves’. Did Blackpool encounter Steve Overload? Steve Bruce, plus assistants Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been dismissed through the exit. So is that the end of the club’s Steve obsession? Not completely! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie continue to oversee the primary team. Complete Steve forward!” – John Myles.

“Since you've opened the budget and distributed some merchandise, I have decided to put finger to keypad and share a brief observation. Postecoglou mentions he initiated altercations in the schoolyard with youngsters he anticipated would defeat him. This self-punishing inclination must explain his choice to sign with Nottingham Forest. Being a longtime Tottenham fan I'll continue appreciating the subsequent season award but the only second-season trophy I can see him winning near the Trent River, if he remains that duration, is the second division and that would be quite a challenge {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|